Too many mince pies


Tonight is going to be horrible. It's the first day back at work in the new year, and that means that all over the country people are planning to kickstart their resolutions and banish the bingo wings with their first visit to a gym. For the poor regulars, this is a most disheartening experience. A usually orderly gym becomes a huge sweaty morass of more ass as plump red fifty-somethings gurn and wheeze on cross-trainers or strain under unadvisedly heavy weights. You have to wait for 15 minutes to use any equipment. People become fractious. Fights may break out by the pec deck. This continues for about 6 - 8 weeks before mercifully tapering off in March as the resolve fades. Meantime, I have to go about my exercise with the patience of a saint. As Satre said, "Hell is other people all standing infront of the mirror looking at themselves as they do bicep curls."

4 comments:

Brit said...

Alas, too true. I'm avoiding the gym for a few weeks, despite the xmas piebelly, for this very reason. I'm hoping that lots of walking will work some sort of miracle.

worm said...

a brisk daily walk of half an hour or more, and a low carb/booze diet should work wonders! also i'm sure you'll see far more pleasant sights than the ones I'm about to be subjected to

*shudder*

Gaw said...

Worm, don't you find this period a heartening reminder of your own physical, not to say moral, superiority over the literally lumpen mass?

worm said...

haha unfortunately not! I'm still only half way towards being 'fit' - new years resolution is to lose 4kgs!!