As I am such a wild party guy these days, I spent my bank holiday monday having a look at the stone monument at Avebury, as a friend I was staying with lives nearby. My sum total of opinions of the place are:

  • the carpark fee of £5 is daylight robbery - they must make at least £5000 a day from the carpark - which almost certainly would be more than enough to pay for upkeep of the henge, the upkeep only consisting of letting sheep graze it. The buckets of extra money must go to keeping the National Trust bosses in hermes headscarves

  • A very old collections of rocks with little historical information available is not that exciting, although it certainly is still a good sensation to stand in a place so ancient (over 6000 years old) and wonder what went through the minds of our stone age ancestors, huddled in a clearing in the middle of a vast and impenetrable forest full of wolves and bears

  • The ditch around the monument must have taken a lot of people a long time to make, especially if they were only using antlers to dig it with. The thing that got me thinking was - surely the expenditure of so much vital energy in those days would have been disastrously wasteful? Shouldn't the menfolk's time have been spent out hunting? -It transpires that some experts believe the earthworks were constructed by slave-labour

  • Living in the village must be a total nightmare with all the people wandering about. I can't think why anyone would want to live in such a place.

  • sheep poo is quite strongly adhesive